I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
