At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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