you win again, gameday.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
