just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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