you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
