pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
