I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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