my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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