no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
