I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize
