There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
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