I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
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