Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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