The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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