I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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