he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
