are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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