I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Did I show you my penis last night?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
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