is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
