I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
