Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
