I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
