His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
