am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
