Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
