Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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