Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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