Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
