hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
