There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
