well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
