I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
