I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
