K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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