i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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