That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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