I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
