I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
