Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There r osticjed everywhere
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
