Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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