shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
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