I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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