plz talk dirty to me
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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