I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
