one two three fourrrrnication!
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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