is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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