Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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