Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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