I puked a lego.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
