Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
