AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
