oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
